Please remind me what I am fighting for

Please remind me what I am fighting for

I look around

I see fragments of my heart

Pieces of me that you keep ripping apart

I feel exposed

I feel ashamed

The truth to the matter is I am not to blame

The only thing I am faulted for

Is falling victim to your appeals

My hands are clammy

My mind is weak

Yet my faith remains firm

My feet stay planted

To rid you from my heart would be freedom

To rid you from my mind would be bliss

The issue that remains

I cannot walk away

I see you standing

Laughing at my pain

For you feel that it is deserved

That I am the cause of these things

I am tired of trying to prove to you who I am

I am tired of trying to make you understand that I am different

There will come a time when my strength no longer

Depends on the words you feed me

There will come a time when the food I desire

Is no longer from the wicked hands of yours

Will this be because I am no longer under your spell?

Will this be because you are no longer wicked and mean?

These are questions I cannot answer

These are questions I choose to give to God

The questions eat at my mind

Draining the very life out of me

Leaving me fragile and bleak

Please remind me what I am fighting for

My only hope

For the times my chest is about to cave

I can feel the streams of tears rolling down my face

And my knees feel weak below

I remember that this is not in my control

Life gets tough

Things are hard to bear at times

Yet I know I will get through it

I have complete faith that I am being refined because of this

I have complete faith that I will be thankful when this

Is no longer this and instead it is that

More of what was rather than what is

My mind likes to play tricks on me

And my heart leads me astray

My only hope is in you Lord

My only faith comes from the promises you make

I want to crumble

I want to completely fall apart

And in you, I know that is ok

In you I know I am safe

Safe to be me

Safe to be broken

Because through you

And only you

I am made whole

The moment I feel my hope is lost

I remember the Cross

And what you gave

For my simple life to be made

I remain thankful

I remain strong only the only solid rock I have

That is in you Lord

In you